the boogeyman and/or men

I’ve realised that it’s quite difficult to discreetly check under the bed without being noticed doing it. You don’t have many things in your hands to accidentally drop when you’re about to climb into bed. There are no facilitated sneaky peeks. You have to commit. Come face to face with the nothing that is there under your bed.

I try to maintain my composure in front of my toddler. I don’t want to impose my fears on her developing mind and so I work hard to keep my cool. Especially at night.

It’s much easier to check the cupboards discreetly. You can follow on by feigning some kind of absent mindedness. “Oh, ha-har, silly me, I forgot we don’t keep glasses of water in the linen cupboard”.

I’m reminded of the classic Simpsons episode where Marge goes away for the night, only to return to find Homer and the kids in a mattress fortress.

Bedtimes can get tricky.

My little one looks at me with her possum eyes cutting through the night, “what’s that noise, mummy?”. I look back at her and casually say, “oh that, it was just a bird”. But I know that there is too much of the whites of my eyes showing.

It takes all of my strength not to tell her the truth. The scary truth. The honest truth. That it’s probably a boogeyman and/or men.

the moon



15 thoughts on “the boogeyman and/or men

  1. My lil 5 year old had a mouse in her room tonight. AHHHHH!!!! It took everything I had to lie down with her after the sighting and capture. Every little blanket move made me cringe. I just knew he had to have at least one friend planning revenge….waiting to attack us.

  2. WHAT…IS…THIS? I find the absolute worst thing you can do my friend is admit to yourself that there may be possible BM, let alone show the fear to any pint size precious!! And as you know, I’m well versed in nights on my own…what was that noise…its just a kangaroo chewing through the fuse box…go back to sleep.

    I know what you mean though. The other night getting read for bed, I dropped my phone and it went right underneath. I quickly did a dash retrieval without lingering. Why is it we do this to ourselves???

  3. we had those, when my son was young. except we didn’t call them bogeymen. they were men in green suits who were working in a corner of his room, heaven knows what they were doing there. i couldn’t see them, but he could, night after night. in the end i had to ‘see’ them, too. and tell him they were finished with their job and now had to go work elsewhere. no time pondering or worrying about anything when faced with such unconquerable facts, lol.

  4. My work colleague used a deodorant can as “Monster Remover” to help ease the fears of his 4 year old son. He printed out a very professional looking label and glued it to the can and then told his son that he had bought Monster Remover spray in the hardware shop. Every night they sprayed all the places a monster might hide. It did the trick. After about a week all talk of monsters stopped and only occasionaly did the spray have to come out again. Maybe you need some “Bogeyman Remover” for yourself!!!! ;)

    • Great idea – thanks for the tip, I bet we could make some of that Monster Remover with water in an atomiser right now. Those boogeymen don’t know what to do when you stand up to them, do they?

  5. As one who certainly believes that BM exist, I must confess my sins. I have checked behind the shower curtain so many times that my cats head towards the bathroom whenever I get home from work. It took me a while to figure out why THEY always acted so weird.

    • Ha! That’s priceless. Cats are pretty hopeless guard dogs though. Hence why they are cats I guess. We love them for that. A boogeyman might be in the house and a cat would just give them the look that says, “just don’t sit in my chair!”.

  6. When I was young I had a fear of foxes – I think I’d muddled them with wolves – and every night I’d leap into bed so that they didn’t get my toes, and the small wardrobe next to my bed had to be turned to face it so that the doors couldn’t open. One of my books was very late back to the library because I’d hidden it, guess what it was….. Peter and the Wolf!

    • Oh. I had Peter and the Wolf Read-a-long record. I know, a record, as in vinyl! I loved it. Foxes can be pretty scary though, especially if you’re a chicken. I mean the bird. Not a yellow-belly. Oh dear Poppins, stop now. You know what I mean. I’m sorry you got a library fine. Are you alright with foxes now? Some of them are really cute, have a look at this guy … … it’s ok if you’re not, I checked under the bed again tonight.

  7. Pingback: the things I need a man for | barelypoppins

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