the challenge of not being a movie-goer in the modern world

It’s a wonder I know who Brad Pitt is. Don’t ask if I know anyone else though. I used to watch movies but now I couldn’t be bothered. I don’t really want to feel challenged. Mentally and physically. I feel like the world is complex enough without having to endure the fictional trials and tribulations of someone I don’t even know. And my arse can’t take the length of a feature film.

Movies have got longer. The average film length in the 1950’s it was 137 mins, 1970’s was 141 mins, 1990’s was 154 mins and now 2010’s it’s at 140 mins. Is it about value for money? They can’t fit enough features and effects into 90 minutes?! Movies and I on a trajectory, the longer movies get the shorter my attention span has become.

But it creates hurdles in social settings.

“You know Brad Pitt! He was in Happy Together”. Internally I’m thinking, “Nah, I don’t”, but  out loud I say, “…his name is familiar…”. Perhaps a poor choice because now it continues. “He was in The Favour too, did you see that?”

My hole is getting deeper. I need to get out of here. I’m looking for an out. Can I put a hazy face to that name? There must be something he was in that I’ve heard about if he’s that good. Damn, my drink is too full to feign refilling. “Oh that, yeah, it’s about that guy that needs some help with some thing, yeah, anyway…”.

Ok, I can see some light again. I’m going to get out of here with my credibility and my arse intact.

Brad Pitt

Calculated from the average length of the 10 Best Picture Oscar winners each decade. Thank goodness someone called “Holden Pike” did the calculations because I definitely wouldn’t.


14 thoughts on “the challenge of not being a movie-goer in the modern world

  1. I cant remember the last time I went to the cinema. I hate cinemas too many people who dont sit still and be quiet. I do watch movies at home but only when I need something to watch while I’m ironing so my movie watching seems to be stuck in the 1950s/60s and generally comprises of westerns and WWII films. Do I feel I am missing out on anything – nope not at all

  2. As a movie lover, its any wonder I like your post…but I did. It made me snort out loud in office…so thanks. Don’t worry though, you’re not missing out on much. Not only have movies gotten longer, but they’ve become more predictable….my sister has an uncanny ability to guess what will happen in almost any romance movie.

  3. Love to go to the cinema too – but it has become so expensive – over in Sweden, about £10.00 … so I rent from LoveFilm – get through the letterbox. Excellent. £7.00 per months.

  4. I hate the cinema, but love movies at home. The above poster is absolutely right about predictability. I have a horrible habit of analyzing each film I watch. My husband must suffer every time we watch a movie because I will dismantle the entire film. Plot is usually worked out in the first ten to fifteen minutes. If I can’t figure it out, it’s a good movie. I love that there is a teeny tiny smiley face at the bottom of your page.

    • Yeah, what is that smiley face? I didn’t put it there. I notice it too. I’m getting attached. He’s very supportive and encouraging. I’m thinking I’ll name him… Sam.

  5. We recently watched Hitchcock’s Rebecca. I was surprised at how long it was compared to some of the fluff that gets made these days, but I guess we do have modern movies that are long too. I hate Brad Pitt, by the way. I just can’t get over the whole Jen and Angelina switch. I know. I care waaaay too much. Get over it, right?

  6. I’m worse – i just keep watching the same movies over and over again…I won’t name them because it will be a true testament to how deeply sad I can be at home alone on a Saturday night…

  7. I live in the middle of nowhere and have to drive two hours to get to a movie theater. I never went even when the movies were only ten minutes away, but now that it’s a huge adventure to go I really miss it.

  8. I’m so glad I’m not the only one! Every year at Oscars time, I have friends who’ve seen every single nominated film. I’m embarrassed to admit that sometimes I haven’t even heard of the movies they’re all raving about. Cringe.

    Movies are long, they’re expensive, but mostly I just think they’re generally terrible. Easier to watch the DVD later and be able to read a magazine while it’s playing in the background.

    Thanks for making me feel less alone in a movie-centric world!

  9. I’m with on you on this. It is a cold day in Hell when I get to the theater. I think the last movie I saw was the final Harry Potter flick, but that was only because I’ve seen them all and am I huge fan of the books. I don’t watch TV either, and that makes me some kind of freak in America. It’s not that I can’t appreciate an hour or two of mindless viewing, it’s just I typically find something else I’d rather be doing.

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