It’s a wonder I know who Brad Pitt is. Don’t ask if I know anyone else though. I used to watch movies but now I couldn’t be bothered. I don’t really want to feel challenged. Mentally and physically. I feel like the world is complex enough without having to endure the fictional trials and tribulations of someone I don’t even know. And my arse can’t take the length of a feature film.
Movies have got longer. The average film length in the 1950’s it was 137 mins, 1970’s was 141 mins, 1990’s was 154 mins and now 2010’s it’s at 140 mins. Is it about value for money? They can’t fit enough features and effects into 90 minutes?! Movies and I on a trajectory, the longer movies get the shorter my attention span has become.
But it creates hurdles in social settings.
“You know Brad Pitt! He was in Happy Together”. Internally I’m thinking, “Nah, I don’t”, but out loud I say, “…his name is familiar…”. Perhaps a poor choice because now it continues. “He was in The Favour too, did you see that?”
My hole is getting deeper. I need to get out of here. I’m looking for an out. Can I put a hazy face to that name? There must be something he was in that I’ve heard about if he’s that good. Damn, my drink is too full to feign refilling. “Oh that, yeah, it’s about that guy that needs some help with some thing, yeah, anyway…”.
Ok, I can see some light again. I’m going to get out of here with my credibility and my arse intact.
Calculated from the average length of the 10 Best Picture Oscar winners each decade. Thank goodness someone called “Holden Pike” did the calculations because I definitely wouldn’t.